Good Days and not so good days!

Now that I have welcomed you into my acceptance, I need to fully accept it myself.My doctor's apt is tomorrow morning and I am nervous as heck so I will write and maybe will figure out how to tell him how I am feeling. I woke up yesterday after 2 days in bed( not sleeping, I never sleep anymore), later than I'd like to have but again I was up until 2am. I was always told if you couldn't sleep then God wanted to tell you something or you needed to tell Him something.Well let me tell you, I'm just about done talking and I'm not hearing anything except the sound of my breath. I HAD to get up and go get the "babies" so I dressed and headed out the door. Out of coffee NO and in my laziness I hadn't made any tea. It was a morning where water wasn't cutting so I stopped at the store and grabbed a Dew, still in a slumber, when I had the strongest urge for some chips. The saltest chips I could find. I have always craved chips when I get this way. Its the weirdest thing but it happens. I searched and finally decided on some store brand sour cream and onion with chedder. I'd usually opt for Muncho's but knew I needed something less crunchy, something that could dissolve instead of being chewed. I took some Motrin and ate my chips as I drove to Momma's with the local country station blaring. I couldn't really tell you what songs played or by whom since I don't normally listen to secular music. I do remember Lady Antelbellem's song I need you now because I thought now many times do they play this song a day. This one I knew because it must come on atleat every hour or maybe its just everytime I am in listening distnace. 15 minutes later, I am at Momma's and I down my Dew,stuff a mouthful chips in my mouth, and put on my happy face before I walk in to greet my babies. Peyton ran to me meet me while ELi and Brooke hid under the tent to protest that they were not going home! This is a game they play everytime I go to pick them up. On days like this I would normally feel that they just don't love me and might be better off staying but I've finally learned that its just one more way that they show how much they love thier Nanny and PawPaw. I chase them around and tickle until they guilt me into staying for supper. While we were there we played outside on the swing, came in and played in the tent, watched some NickJr, and then went to see their favorite aunt next door. I made some Koolaid and loaded the dishwasher and fixed some treet( Meals are so different there than at home). After playing outside they were all hot so I fixed them each a drink. About 45 minutes later Peytin has a huge uncontrollabe meltdown and I really didn;t want to deal with it but we made it through and then I stop and think.... Organge koolaid. How do you get orange? Red and yellow UGH, how stupid can you be is what I am thinkingto myself, so I take Peytins Koolaid away and make some lemonaid. If you follow on Fb you know that we are keeping Peyton away from Red Dye. Now I'm beat and Peyton is asleep so I send the oldest over and read while Peyton naps. Peyton wakes up and we head over.She asked if we wanted to go berry picking. No part of me wanting to be out in the Forida heat at 4:00 to pick blueberries but I knew the kids would enjoy it and they LOVE blueberries so we head off after it takes 30 minutes to find and on shoes. After all that Peyton still ended up in just socks. They enjoyed riding down the country road without their carseats! That was a big treat since I am a carseat Natzi most of the time. We walking and picked for about 20 minutes before my oldest, Brooke, was done. She informed us she was hot and sweating and going back to the truck. We made her stay about 10 minutes longer and finished up. We poured our berried each into one bucket to see that together the 5 of us picked almost 1 ice cream bucket full. Back to Aunts to wash our bounty and put them away. I left that to my Sister in law while I went to Momma's t help out with supper. My favorite hamburgers. Nothing gets better than feeling the squishy gooey hamburger meat into the round disk that will soon be douvered inside buns. Can you hear the sarcism, I hope so. Anyway, its done and its back to rounding up the kids for supper. Suprisinly not that bad this time. I only had one protest and that was Brooke wanting to eat Speghetti with her Aunt instead of hamburgers with us. That make so much sense since she hates hamburger meat. She opted for tomotoe, fries, and a peice of lettuce. It woud not suprise me one bit when she decides she wants to become a vegitarian. I used to make her eat meat but I've learned many other ways to get her to eat protien. She does love hotdogs and bolonga and chicken nuggets. I think only because its so far from what it really is and I haven't bothered to tell them. Anyway we eat and finally load up to come home. Each of them telling their stories and singing their own songs eventually ends up in a fight when Eli sings and Peyton can't hear herself. I love my kids but they fight over the silliest things. Home! Bedtime! Fight! GARBAGE!!!!( dead dog walking again) 45 minutes of unloading and making beds, calming down, and tucking in and all is quite. This and that are out in 30 more minutes and the other an hour later. Now its time for Mommy to relax and spend time with Daddy right? WRONG! Once the comotion settles my jaw is unbearable and nothing is touching the pain. Tylonal, Motrin, Nyquil. Still awake until 1am and tossing and turning until the kids come in at 8:00 ready to start their day. Today! Dishes piled up, and a list of things that need to be done! Motrin downed with no relief, breakfast done, and it's already time for lunch!