Saturday, July 31, 2010

lets get this party started!

Here we go. Hop in and join my life. My thoughts, my deepest desires and probably a few secrets will be shared along the ride. Be rest assured it will to the best of my knowledge be the truth. The good the bad and the ugly. Here it will lie. My heart and soul for everyone to read. The kids ups and downs and life in general. Those that thought they knew me will see things a little different. My vow is to no longer hide so don't think I'm hiding behind words on a screen. This is me and if you don't believe me ask me face to face and I'll tell you the same.

Tonight was liberating... Praise and worship was like no other. I hardly recongized myself, hands reaching out to God, waving for His Glory. Saying here I am Lord. Use me! I love you Lord, no longer will I stand idol. I am yours. Feet that couldn't stand still. Yes it was magnificent! No other words to describe it. Liberating and magnificent. No longer caring what my voice sounds like or if I'm in pitch, the right octive, or holding back for fear of someone hearing. I LOVE to sing and have hidden to long...

Allowing God to speak to me in a way that only I can hear( yes i know I'm stubborn and hard headed and downright hard of hearing.) No more...... all week I've been getting messages of pride and strength. Let me say I prided myself on my pride and my strength to do it.all... all the way to allowing myself and family to fall flat our faces because of MY pride.
"When King Uzziah had become powerful, he also became proud, which led to his downfall." 2 Chronicles 26:16
Selflishness sure as long as I was giving and giving and giving some more. Yet what I did was take away and take some more. Take away what you ask. Power from God to allow him to work through me.
" I will bless you and you will be a blessing to others." Genesis 12:2
I was taking away Blessings from others that wanted to help. Those that I knew of and those that were to afraid to even offer because they knew I'd say No... I let that go tonight. I will trust God and not just say it. I will believe it and listen for Him to point out the right things to do..

My next step is now that I understand more about baptism and the Holy Spirit, next Sunday is my turn. It's been oh 14-15 years ago. It's time to get it right. To do it because I understand and not because thats just what you do next... Holy spirit fill me. My old self is no more. Thank you Jesus for dying on the cross so that I may live and not only live but live abundantly... does that mean I am to do more than just scrape by each day and wait to die or for Jesus return? YES IT DOES!!!! To enjoy life, being a Christian doesn't mean turning into a prude. No. I have more fun now than I ever did. Just think all this fun and no hugging a toilet,hangovers or little green men. Yes I can fun and it is rewarding. To laugh and cry and laugh again then not know why. Singing and dancing for God... Yes being a Christian is fun... I am excited.:-)