Change of Heart

Yes,I know I haven't written in a while. I have succomed to living life and being content... We shoud never be completly content. We should always have an expectation fo more...Tonight I come to you because my heart is heavy in a way I have never experienced before. Tonight I come to you as the Mom of Bleu and Cocoa... Bleu is our American Bulldog.Cocoa is our full blooded mutt. To undestand where I am coming from you have to understand a little bit about me. You see, up until about a year ago I would openly admit "I don't like dogs. I don't do dogs. They chew up everything. They poop inside. The bark all the time. They jump on you and they don't listen. Why would anyone want this in their home." Yes I know how bad that sounds. I don't really know when I became that way. I had dogs growing up, I even watched one give birth. Our dogs were always outside and protected us from snakes. We played fetch but we never got "close" to them, well I didn't anyway. I grew up and still had a distain for dogs. I once remeber getting bit by a chihuahua, maybe thats why I always felt that way. It's not that I didn't like pets. I loved fish and frogs and lizards. There was just something about dogs. I met my husband, Tommy, in 2000 and the main person in his life was his American Bulldog, Jake. Yes I said person. Jake was not a dog, he was a four legged human. He ate at the table with Tommy, he ate what he ate. He loved brocoli and brussel sprouts. When we met there was no doubt that he loved Jake more than me. That slowly began to change and let me tell you Jake did not like it one bit! We would sit on the couch and Jake would weasle his way in between us. I don't know how many times I went to kiss Tommy and got a cold wet dog nose. He slowly began to grow on me but was stolen shortly after we bonded. We found the person that stole him and he admitted to selling him as a fighting dog. However, no dog no case. That is what the police told us. We have spent the past 10 years trying to help people understand that not all bulldogs are for fighting. In fact, bulldogs are loving, caring protective animals. Through the years we have had many dogs come and go and I never really let myself get attached. We got married and now have kids and our kids love animals just as much as their Daddy does. Where did that leave me? I blamed every dog we had for this and that and that and this and I just did not understand my families love for dogs.I finally broke down and did the only thing I knew to do. I prayed for God to change ME. I realized that the dogs didn't listen to me because I didn't respect them. I didn't give them half a chance.I slowly started seeing a change in Cocoa's attitude. He was listening to me. He crept his way into the bed at night. He sat ontop of my feet while at the computer desk. He came when I called. He started listening so well that Tommy often had to have me to call Cocoa inside. I couldn't belive it, was this realy happening? Was *I* falling for dog? Cocoa is now almost 2 years old and is one of my best friends. Tommy desperatly wanted another full bread American Bulldog and I knew we were not in the position to get one. They are quite expensive to someone looking for a pet. I made a "deal" with Tommy and told him okay if you can find one under x amount of money then we can get it... Now keep in mind, this x amount was so far from reality that I NEVER imagined it could happen! It gave Tommy hope though and I needed him off my back! He searched online everywhere and found breeder after breeder all telling him the same thing, giving him the same numbers. He was very open about what we could afford but never gave up. One day we recieved a call from a breeder who knew we didn't have the money and he had people willing to pay full price for this last little dog he had but he did not get a good feeling from the applicants. We spent weeks on the phone with this guy. He agreed to our x number and a week later we met Bleu. We named him Bleu because he was born was with one Bleu eye. The kids fell inlove as we knew that they would. Tommy of course was smitten and I was in complete aww... This was the moment that God really started changing me. I saw Bleu and it was like I was looking at my future, almost like looking at your newborn baby. We took him to PetSmart and let him pick out his own toy then we went to McDonalds and got him a peice of sausage. We took him to the park and then to a birthday Party. Busy Day for a new member of the famiy but he loved it. He only had one accident all day and was a joy. We saw him interact with many kids that day and the smile on the kids faces was pure joy. He curled himself in our bed that first night and Cocoa never once seemed threatened, never offered to snap, in fact Bleu was like his new baby. He "told" Bleu when to go out and when to come in and the only thing they ever had tiffs over was the food bowl. Who knew an 8 week old baby could eat more than a year and half old dog! The last 6 months has had its ups and downs and we have lost many shoes,and kids toys. So many cars has los their wheels and Barbies have lost their limbs.Many nights have been spent with him curled up in our bed. Frankly I am still not sure how 2 adults 2 dogs and atleast 1 child can fit into a bed. Many times all 7 of us are piled in bed! I never have to worry about if someone is in the yard because Bleu and Cocoa will let me know. This all changed 4 days ago when a neighbour knocked on my door to tell me that Bleu had been hit by car. My heart sank as I woke Tommy up and he immediatly went into respond mode. Tommy swooped him up as we crazily tried to find a vet that would see him. Finally almost 2 hours after the accident he found Freeport Vet Clinic who agreed to see him with no upfront cost. The sedated him on pain meds and we waited over the weekend to recieve the news that he needs hus hip reconstruted. We are now trying to come up with 500.00 to get this going.God placed us in contact with They're so fluffy who created a website through ChipIn and are helping us spread the word. I then created a facebook event and we have had people donate raffles. ANYONE who enters will be automatically enrolled in the raffles. I am not one to beg or ask for help but I can not imagine having to tell the kids that Bleu can't come home because we don't have the money to pay for the care he needs. I can't and won't imagine my life without Bleu in it! Blue has showed me that God created ALL creatures and that we are love one another and this includes our furry friends. Thank you for reading our story and most of all for letting me get all my emotions out right now! Now you may being saying this is not God it's a series of coincidences... Did I mention the breeder we got Bleu from was a pastor? If this story has touched you at all please donate to Bleu's care. EVERYTHING will go directly to Freeport Pet Clinic. No amount is to small... Thank you. God Bless