Free and discounted items from Reviwsio

The chickens have had my busy so I took a break from all my freebies, couponing, and sale savings but today I came across a new opportunity. Reviews is launching October 1st and will be offering items from Amazon for free, or largely discounted for honest reviews! Who doesn't love Amazon?!? I know if do! You wanna know what the catch is right? No catch, its simple the more reviews a product has the more popular the item, the more views it gets thus more sales. This is why sellers are willing to offer huge discounts, or free products. So follow the link and sign up for yourself and give it a try. Go! Now! https://reviewsio.com/register?mref=tomcat4frog

Why I Facebook!

I've been thinking alot lately about when my first two kiddos were babies, before Facebook land. A land of journals and blogs and mindless 2 minute phone conversations or 5 word text, because that's all you really have time for. I'm older now and a little more experienced but you know what I remember most about those days aside from the craziness, the joy and the long sleepless nights? I remember feeling alone, disconnected. I would have been too had it not been for an amazing chat board. Fast forward 2 years and my first Facebook post was of my last kiddo in the hospital, just after she was born. I started it just so I could share her pictures with our church family but what I found was that I was not alone. Now keep in mind I'm not talking about being physically alone. I'm talking about emotionally alone, like no one understands. I remember others telling me, in person, that they love reading my Facebook. It makes them laugh. I remember reading when another moms child had yet another explosion while having to fix leaky pipes, and when another mom woke up to find their child, the crib, and the walls covered in poop. I've cried while another mom had to hold her son down for a test, I've prayed as children have had surgery. How is it possible to feel alone in a world so big? Easy! Some people just are not "talkative" people and really does the lady behind you in Walmart want to hear about your kids lost tooth? Unless she's got a buggy full of kiddos herself, probably not! Facebook has become a family of friends, some family and some friends. It's become a way to share with others that they too are not alone in the world of motherhood. I laugh at my friends post when one child is covered in crayon, another climbing in the fridge, while one is chasing the dog while grabbed ahold of his tail butt naked! It makes me remember those crazy times I've had with my kids. It helps for other moms to share with me that they relate to those days when the kids just will not listen for anything. Kids are going to be kids and that's okay! So, Moms put the kids to bed, lock yourself in the bathroom, or hide in the car for 5 minutes with the radio blaring and Facebook away! We understand, we really really do!!!!

Dye Free Birthday cake ( Dora)

My daughters birthday is sadly very stressful. This year was no exception but I made a promise that she would have a cake as pretty as everyone else's always were AND that it would be one that she could eat and enjoy without the affects of the artificial food coloring. This meant a completely dye free cake. I've done cupcakes before but I am not a baker. I had planned to have my friend ( the cake lady) bake a cake and I would go over and we would play with the icing and fondant and see what worked. A couple of days before our planned date I realized the marshmallow used for the fondant had dye in it. We then said we'd just do icing. I was okay with that until until my daughter asked me if I could make her cake. How do you, as a mom, say no to that? You don't. Again plans changed and I set out to make a cake worthy of my daughters 5 year birthday celebration. This years theme? Dora! We all know Dora. Yep, that Lil girl that runs around the jungle with a monkey and various other jungle friends and occasionally her cousin Diego. Together we looked at cakes online when she set her eyes on a Dora Princess cake where the cake is the dress. Perfect! I've actually done a Barbie cake like this for my oldest daughter. We can do this. I had the bath tub Dora that I was going to use but then found another one that I decided to use. We are well on our way now. We have the idea, the doll, and I picked up a few boxes of cake mix and some cake decorating essentials. Now to pick up our arsenal of natural dyes. I grab the beet roots as I use them for everything, then some purple cabbage. These should do it. I also grabbed some carrots, raspberries, and blueberries just in case. I arrive at my mother in laws to utilize her counter space and I get started. The first thing I do is mix and bake the dress part of the cake. I did this by pouring the mix into a well sprayed round Pyrex bowl. I then make a rectangle sheet cake for the bottom. While they bake I cut and boiled the purple cabbage. No seasoning( that will come later if you want use it for supper. We did). With the cabbage juice I made purple, blue, and surprisingly green. I drain the juice and cook it down in three pans until its just a few tablespoons of liquid. Watch carefully because it will cook out in just a second if not careful. I lost 3 pans to this fact. The one pot for purple we don't do anything to other than cook down. Its chemistry time now. To make the blue you cook it down and remove from heat and add a half teaspoon of baking soda. Stir and magically you now have a blue. I discovered the green on accident by trying to make blue. It wasn't thick enough so I cooked it some and it turned green! So to make green. Remember that last pot cooking? Add baking soda and then cook down. You should have green. Now we juice a beet root. It doesn't take much to make pink. The more you add the darker your color will be. Now we have our colors make our icing and add your colors. I wanted a really bright purple so I added the purple and a drop each of beet juice and blue cabbage juice(mixed with baking soda before cooking) I found that it's lots of trial and error and not being afraid to play with the colors. My daughter could not have been happier with the final result which meant this momma was happy too! Now for the reveal.

I found the pearls at Walmart. They are sixlet brand. Now cool and the perfect touch.

These are the cupcakes. I used each color and then mixed the left over icing to make a swirl affect.

I'm talking to you

Yes you! I don't know what you are at the moment but let me start by saying. Your mean and I do not like you. I feel like you have taken away my life, my quality of life, that is. You don't care about me. You suck the energy out of my body making me tired, exhausted and sleepy but you refuse to let me sleep. I can't sit or lay still because my body hurts so bad that the slightest prick, poke, or nudge is excruciating. I might be OK living with you but your like a bipolar pothead on crack. One day I feel fine. Another completely useless. One day I won't eat any thing all day and another you make me eat everything in sight and make me crave what's not. One day I can barely notice my heartbeat and others I'd swear I took a handful of yellow jackets or something. One day I feel like you make me mad at everything and on others I just want to curl up in bed and cry. Can't you just make up your mind? I've come to the conclusion that you are not depression or anxiety even though you make me fell depressed and anxious at times. Its not in my head. Sure when i forget what the stove is called, I feel crazy. I feel it again when i forget to get the kids a drink after they've asked me a third time. You make me physically sick. I don't think your new either. I feel like you've been hiding inside for a long time. Was it you that would give me chills during the 100 degree band practice. Do you know how crazy I felt huddled by the fence with a friends jacket while everyone else is sweating and praying for rain? Are you the reason I dreaded that time of the month? The fact that I had twice as many times of the month than other girls and why my iron was also so low. I still feel like others think its in my head and don't understand. I also don't feel like you are  spiritual battle going on. If so you'd have been gone long ago. I'm not a weak nobody seeking attention. I'm a strong willed Momma that's going to find out what you are and kick you out of my body so don't get comfortable.

The Perfect Mother?!?!?

IT's been a while since I have felt like writing. In fact, its been a while since I have felt like doing anything. Today I came across this blog( I am working on posting a link give me some time please) and It SCREAMED at me. I read almost in tears thinking, FINALLY someone relates to me. Someone out there understands. I mean really understands! Then I came across this book (Desperate, Hope for the mom who needs to breath)literally within an hour of each and I wasn't even looking for parenting books. I just wanted a good read. You see lately that's how I have been "dealing" with life- by slipping away into someone else's reality to keep from facing my own. I'm still reading and in the very early pages of the book but again it screams at me and while I find comfort in knowing that again I am NOT alone, it makes me sad that so many of us moms feel like this. Its always a stress to be the perfect mom. To keep the house tidy, the kids and husband happy, everyone healthy and still find time for school, peace, socialization and everything else that life offers up. What happened to that beautiful vision we had when we first held our babies at the hospital. What happen to those promises we made ourselves? You know the ones I am talking about. Come on get real with me. Who out there said, I'll never yell at my kids. I'll never plop my kids in front of the TV or give them a video game unattended. You expect me to let them eat that junk at school? No I'll make every one of their lunches with love and cute cut out sandwiches all balanced with all 4 meal groups. Now years down the road we look back and don't even recognize the moms that we have become and these kids that are yelling at us simply cant be because of our lack of perfect parenting. It cant be. We did everything right so right in fact that we forgot why were doing it to begin with. I for one have just simply shut down. We forgot that God entrusted us with these lives because HE trusted us. Because He knows that we can do it. Because He has a plan for us. I lost site of that to the point that I cringe at the thought of waking up at the dawn of light when the kids do. I just want to crawl under the covers and not even deal anymore. The kids are spending more and more time away and I call myself trying to clean or find myself but truth of the matter is that I am so wore out that on those days they are away I do absolutely nothing.... and then feel the bounds of regret for it the day they come home. What happened? Where did I go wrong? Where did I miss the mark? We each are going to have our own stories to tell and each will be different. Mine starts with my thinking that I can do it all alone. I've never been popular, never had more than a handful of friends, and I like it like that. As I get older though I see that we are not made to be alone. Even with just our spouses. We need interaction. I haven't yet discovered how to go about doing that though. When I am around people my heart beats so fast that I literally have to focus on breathing to keep from hyperventilating. I do much better with words in writing. You ask me to speak in a group and its just to much for me to handle. Even one on one sometimes, I cant do it. SO I gave up and here I am. Even though now my kids are in school and I should have time to myself I feel just as lost today as I did 4 years ago when all of the kids were in diapers.... In fact some days it was better back then. You know when they didn't have as many opinions. I am going to try and keep this updated as I work REALLY hard on venturing out of this funk and through this journey and if nothing else just writing to make me feel better. Please feel free to share your own stories and words of wisdom. God Bless...

The brutually honest me.

The real me. I tried really hard to change who I was, so much in fact that until recently I honestly wasn't sure who I even was. Through the midst of it all one thing was very apparent. I was different. I didn't see anyone else as different though so I didn't understand why everyone was treated differently. I didn't see color even though I grew up among others that did instead I made friends with others which pushed me further away and even more different. I didn't hold a grudge or harbor anger so I never understood why others did. I almost always "turned the other cheek" and just took the criticism from others and was walked on by those that caught onto this. I was hurt! Many times! I used to pray over an over to see why God made me this way. I used to ask God to change me so I could see inside others hearts, even though my true friends told me to not ever change. I learned to forgive early so I didn't understand unforgiveness I wanted to be able to understand and feel the pain that others felt. I thought the only way to understand someone's hate was to feel that hate. I thought the only way to fell someone's hurt of betrayal was to have the same unforgiveness in my heart. I tried to mean and hateful. I tried to hold grudges and even judge people. I was very unhappy but I thought it was something that I needed and in a way I did need it. It was then that I discovered that was NOT who I wanted to be. It was then that I realized that its not who God wanted me to be. Now please don't read this and think I am saying that I am perfect or tooting y own horn. I am not. In fact for a long time I hated the way I was. I hated being different. I just didn't understand. Why me? I look back and I think of the good and the bad that I have experienced and how each experience changed me. I used to think that each bad thing took away a piece of me but now I realize that instead it replaced pieces of me helping me be comfortable with who I am. The person I thought I was or thought I was supposed to be was replaced by a piece of who I am and who I am supposed to be. Who God wants me to be. I finally see that by being happy and grateful and different that its the best way to show others that you don't have to always be sad and disgusted by things that you don't have. That you can forgive and live your life. That when you put your faith and trust in God that you CAN be happy no matter where you are. That you are where He wants you to be. That those un-answered prayers where answered but you didn't like the answer. That we may not be who we think we should be but when we walk with God we will be who He wants us to be. We are to be different, not of the world and finally I am okay with that! You should be too. Am I perfect? Only to Him. AM I complete? Only when he is done with me. I have a long ways to go. I am a work in progress but only God will change me. Listen to God on when things need to change not your self or others. God knows you. He created you! He loves you!

Hippie Friend!

So this is my new nickname given to me by my bestest girlfriend I like it and in fact I have been making many positive changes getting back to the days when things were simple!!My friends and family can tell you two things about me. I am simple and I don't like change! Change is hard for me. Like really hard! I had my first panic attack my 11th grade year because I was doing so much and applying for college and taking all the test. I was a hot mess! 12th grade wasn't much better! I look back and have no idea how I survived. I just kept busy. It has always been my cure all. The busier I am the less time I have to think about things. FULL FORCE AHEAD! It was a great plan and then I had kids! Sure your going 90 miles an hour all day long but its different because with kids your going for them. Your running their race so to say! Well, lately as I reflect on having all the kids in school this coming year, I've had to dig deep to find who I am and what I want. In the process of all this we had a pretty drastic move. Going from a 1,300 sq ft home to less than 700 sq ft! With this I have had to discover new ways to plan and organize. I've even had to learn to cook again. Why? Well our stove didn't make it. In many ways I find this rather disturbing but it has actually led to more fresh fruits, grilled meats, and rotisserie meals. Fresh cucumbers and carrots have become a favorite snack. It has led to using my microwave more which I dislike greatly and I miss baking! Okay, I'm getting off track. Back to being a Hippie Friend! Over the years, I have went through many little adventures on living greener. This move has reinforced this even more. We now recycle more and living in town give us more options for eating healthy. I love Publix! I just have to say that! Soon I'll be swarming our farmers markets and local farms! I am excited. I'm just waiting for things to level off. Anyone that has moved knows that no matter how much you save on rent the first few months are going to cost more when you add in start up fees! I think we are finally getting past that part but knowing me I am always looking at ways to save a buck and make things healthier. Usually its in phases though which is what I am working on. I started a Bible study by Lysa Terkserst called Unglued. Going through a bible is a great way for me to get close to God but also look deep inside myself( something that I don't do often). The biggest deal about this though is that it is a home bible study that I joined. Only knowing 1 or 2 other people going this is a big step out of my comfort zone. It made me realize that I have lived in a bubble for way to long and that in fact I simply don't know how to socialize anymore! How sad is that. 32 years old and I sat by the one lady I knew and said very few words and the words I did say came from a very hard beating chest that I am sure I sounded like a nervous school girl on a first date. In fact I can't tell you what I said because my head was so clouded with fear! Look at me again I am getting off track. If you made it this far your probably wondering why my best friend called me a Hippie. Well she knows me so well and she heard all the talk and read the post about my clothe diapering, she questioned my sanity when I told her that I made my own laundry detergent and I don't know what she thought was going on when I told her I was using vinegar to clean my house. After all this what made her think I had really fallen off my rocker and gone off the deep end? I told her I stopped washing my hair. Yes, you read that right! I am on day 10 without using any kind of actual shampoo or conditioner. Why, you ask? Well here I was fed up with my hair, standing in shower looking at my arsenal of different shampoos and conditioners and I asked myself why? Why do I spend all this money and hate the way my hair is. Now, I do love my hair itself but I hate that it never does anything. It won't curl, hold a wave, or even straiten with a gloss. My hair is STRAIGHT, FLAT, and very long! I started growing it out last year for Locks of Love. It's finally gotten long enough that I feel I can cut it without going bald. I was thinking of ways to make it healthier before I make the cut and was contemplating a hot oil treatment or something when I can across No poo and Low poo washing methods. I was intrigued! n a given week, I go 3 or 4 days in-between washes so on day 4 I decided to just rinse and do some more research. Then I found many blogs saying that I needed to strip my hair. I choose the cheapest and on hand method. Baking soda paste. I hopped in the shower on day 5 and stripped my hair. I'll be honest with you. I did not like it! My hair felt like sandpaper. I was questioning ever doing and thinking how in the world I was going to get these tangles out! I brought with me the most common method of no poo conditioner. Apple Cider vinegar mixed with water. So here I am in the shower with sandpaper hair tangled in a ball rinsing all the baking soda out. MORE TANGLES, Oh God help me, what have I done??!?? Well here goes. The vinegar goes in and is rinsed out and I literally FELT the tangles just rinse away. What? Are you kidding me? Did that seriously just work? For years I have spent mucho moolah on pricey name brand deep treatment conditioner and I just rinsed the biggest rats nest out with Apple Cider vinegar?!? YES, I did! I really did! That was 4 days ago and my hair is just now getting greasy and I could probably put it up in a ball and be good. I may decide to wash with baking soda tonight but I may not. I'm going to try and wait until tomorrow so I can "wash" Friday before I go and get the chop! I have seen pictures of ladies with beautiful hair after going No poo for months. One lady even showed a picture of her granny from the 30s and how there was not shampoo then and that in fact all they used, if lucky was Castile soap. Good point. I never thought about that! So welcome to my newest adventure. Please tell me if my hair stinks. Though I have been assured through many blogs that this should not happen! Seriously though, I trust you! Please bare with the oily,dry mess for a few months. Noone will notice the pony or bun since its usually my choice hairdo. I'll try to post pictures soon of my various stages.

Why Red dye?!?

Every time I post on Facebook about something being Dye Free or asking why something has red dye, I always get Why? Well we all have a why! Why did/do you breastfeed? Why did/do you immunize or choose not to? Why do you eat natural or organic? Why do you diet/exercise? We all have our reasons. The main reason being: We want to do what we think is best for our family! Each one of us has our own reasons to why we think our way is best. . . Since I have so many people ask why, here goes! Ever since Peyton was born she would break out. At a very young age we battled eczema, diaper rashes, and a runny nose that wouldn't quite. She was a VERY happy baby. She ate most what we ate but once she turned a year old and we started letting her have more "kid friendly food" we noticed the rashes getting worse, the diaper rash that would BLEED. We went to doctors and they all said allergies, We went to a dermologist who said the contact dermatitis( eczema). We took away dryer sheets, we went to dye free chemical free laundry soap. She was on Clairton, zyrtec, and Benadryl and nothing worked. We went to an immunologist and the allergy test came back normal. During this time she started having uncontraolable tantrums, biting, hitting, screaming. Of course no one saw this and always said "Not our sweet Peyton". By the time she hit 3 it got worse. We had had our fill. Something had to give. We were desperate. We had already taken away milk and eggs and was about to take away gluten when I started reading about Red dye. Well it seemed easy enough... No more suckers and candy. We slowly started to take away this and that. We slowly started seeing changes. I became an ingredient list reading freak. We'd have a great few days and then BAM Tantrum crazy! I knew it had to be something! As I started reading more labels. I saw more things that had red dye in them and it hit me! We have all tried very hard to cut out dyes completely. It started by just limited red foods, then we learned we had to watch pink, purple, orange. Basic Kindergarten color wheel principle here but we didn't think. To say we went in blind was an understatement. Its been about 6 months now and we atr learning more. Her rashes have all but gone away. We have the occasional irritation but nothing like before. She is happy again and so lovable. Now does she tantrums? What child doesn't BUT they are manageable and by that I mean before she would get so upset that she would be upset that she was upset and literally seemed as if she had NO control over herself. Now she does and that is a miracle in itself. I am sooo happy that I made this decision for my family. Now what have I learned! Don't be blind. READ!!!! Many foods you would never think have red dye DO... Beef bullion cubes, Jello pudding, ALL Doritos, even Cool Ranch, Ice cream. some cheese puffs, M&M's yes even the brown ones! I will come back and add my favorite dye free foods!

A broken heart Prayer

God - I'm mad! You know that! I'm hurt, you know that too. My entire life I felt like every man placed in my life left me. MY dad and both grandpas didn't want anything to do with me as a child. I had three great uncles that took their place and did a really awesome job. I was 10 when one of my grandfathers passed away. I sat by his bed while he was sick and he never acted like he cared, but I was there, eager for his approval. Of course Dad was noowhere around while his father passed. Well atleast noone let us know if he was. Then one of those awesome uncles died when I was a teenager. It seems like that was around the time that I emotionally lost the other two. I guess I was "grown" and they must have felt like I didn't need them anymore. Maybe they didn't agree with who I was becoming. Maybe life just got in the way and we grew apart.I had an awesome "adoptive" Daddy but he was taken too. Atleast I had graduated school before he passed. Not long after I reunited with my father. It was a rocky road to say the least. He was sick and acted like he still didn't want anything to do with me He tried apoligizing but it was only words. A couple years later we tried it again. This time we finally made it work. I got married, had kids, and built a great friendship during those 7 years. We started getting close. We talked weekly, sometimes daily and visited as often as work schedules would allow. He got better and got sicker. We often spent more time visiting the hospital than we did at home with him. In fact, the pictures I have of him and Brooke when she was born are taken in the hospital. He wanted to be there when she was born but couldn't. He thought Eli was the most handsome little man when he saw him. I was pregnant with Peyton when he passed away. I wish he could have met her. If I beleived in reincarnation, I'd think that he came back as her. Everyone asked who she looks like because she doesn't really look like me or Tommy. She looks like Dad. She has this way she will wrinkle up her nose and eye brow that is so Lionel. I miss hearing him and Uncle Myrln tell their stories. Now a few years later PawPaw Ted is gone... Ted was like a dad to me after Tommy and I got together. He was always there. Yes we had our problems but he's move mountains to help us if he could and he loved our kids like noone else. I don't think there was a day that he/we didn't talk or see each other in the past 4 years. He was at every birth( except lil miss Peyton who was born in the wee wee early morning hours). He was at every birthday party, every school function. He did everything with the kids and they loved him for him for it! I loved the relationship they had because I never had that relationship with my grandfathers.His death was so sudden that it took as all by shock. It was such an eye opener of just how precious life is. He spoke with his daughter, wife, and various drs office just minutes before he passed. I just recently started seeing my grandpa again. I remember being a child and running up to the school janitor and hugging him. IT slipped one day that he was my grandfather and I was so eager for that bond that I tried everything to gain his attention... Noone else understood and I was okay with that. Once he quit the school and I graduated, we'd see each other around twon, go visit him, and slowly got somewhere. It wasn't until his 4th battle with cancer and my mom moved in with him that we started getting a lil closer. I'd go see Mom and we'd all sit around and talk, watch the kids play and just enjoy each others company. I knew he was sick, I knew he was loosing this battle so I tried to embrace those moments and forgive all the years that were lost. He enjoyed seeing the kids and I knew he needed that. Never would I imagine that we would loose these two so close together. A month and half is such a short time to deal with this. I was strong for the kids after PawPaw passed then I went and saw grandpa last weekend. I knew the minute that I saw him that that would be the last time I saw him. I saw defeat in his eyes. When I kissed his hand and he grabbed ahold I could see he didn't want to let go. He knew too. I came home, without the children knowing, and I had my meltdown. That was it, That was my family. The men in my family where gone... I have my brothers. Yes, I have uncles but I fear our relationships are not fixable. I would love nothing more to be able to 5 years old, pulling ponds, or hanging out on the racetrack but thats not how life works. I feel like people are put in my life for such short periods of time and then they are gone. Life has been nothing but change in the past 8 years. Some great, some not so great. I just feel like I am ready to be stable. I'm ready to commit to life! I know Life involves death. I have more family and friends in heaven than I do here in Earth. God, I need some people here. I know I've made my mistakes. I know I have mends to make but with death come emotions and I know in my heart that I can't take many deaths( physically or emotionall) without a support system. I submitted myself to you and I knew it would take commitment, I knew friends would be lost but can you please guild me where you want me so that we won't be doing this alone? It took me such a long time to trust you as My Heavenly Father. It took these men in my life to teach me to have a relationship with any man but its also because of these relationships that I had such a hard time trusting you as my Father. I KNOW you'll never leave me,so I know it's different but thats because I am an adult now. I am doing everything I can to trust and rely on You and believe that each of these men had their purpose my life and I had a purpose in their life. I'm really not mad anymore but I am very confused. I know you are not a God of confusion and I trust that you will clear my head. My head is so full of emotions now that I can't even pray without being interuppted so you get a Blog prayer. I also feel that I will read this back one day and will understand. Who knows maybe the kids will read it and realize its okay to be completly honest with you. Thank you for all that you do do for us. Thank you for Life. Thank you for our salvation. Thank you for your promises. Thank you for your word. Lord, I love you. I praise you and I accept all you have for me... Rain or Shine. Butterflies or locust. In Jesus Name Amen

A mother's love...A childs Grace!

Motherhood had tought me so very much. Most recently, I am learning to love and live through the eyes of my children.... To children love has no color, gender orienation, or age. Children love without knowing. They love their parents, their friends, their grandparents, the stranger on the street that needs a hug. Children love like Jesus wants us to love. What if everyone could love like a child loves? Children trust without being told too. They trust those that are closest to them without question, and sometimes try to trust others but thats where parents come in. What if everyone could trust like a child trust? Children forgive! Ever watch kids get mad at one another? They get their feelings hurt, cry, scream, yell, do whatever it is that they do but less than 5 or 10 minutes later they are best friends again. What if everyone could forgive like a child forgives? You know what I think? I think God gives us what we need to learn to do all these things through the lives of our children. Watch close and listen! Protect the children that can teach us about who we need to be.

Thankful Heart!

Thank you Lord. Thank you for carrying me through this battle, for believing in me and seeing the person you created me to be and showing me that same person! Thank you for lifting me up when I simply couldn't. Thank you for allowing this storm so I can grow, that you for protecting me through this storm but not covering me so much that I could not see it! Thank you for the friends and family you have placed in my life and for covering me in love! Even while I spent 2 days in bed alone, I was not alone. You were there even though I wouldn't go to you. I cannot imagine the deapths of depression that would have emerged had you not been with me. Thank you for providing me the reality and the understandings of the struggles that I have fought for so long! No this is not the way *I* wanted to get help but I trust it is the plan you had instore when you created me! I AM dealing and I understand this will be a progress. Thank you! I know that WE can see the end of this and inspire others that they can too!

Progress or Set backs

I've been studing the Proverbs 31 woman/wife/and mother and today I came to realize that she her husband certaintly did not work the night shift! I slept so good last night, for the first time in many nights I slept. I didn't toss and turn, I slept. I knew I should have stayed up once he got home but I wanted to share that feeling with him. It's be so long since I have been abe to curl in his arms and feel the heat of his body next to mine. I embraced it. If only for an hour, I enjoyed each minute through the, "Mom I'm getting a juice" and "Mom, Turn the TV channel." to the eventual CRASH, "I found Marbels" How did they get the marbels off the coke machine? Never mind... ARise and call THEM blessed!

Say What?

Back from the doctor. My first thought leaving the office was alot really mean things that I won't say aloud but to sum it up basically, I felt like again, he didn't listen to a word I had to say and was only there to take my money! After going down the list of medicines, I've taken and how I responded to them. That one made me feel like a zombie, that one didn't do anything at all, that one is the last I took and worked( as long as I took it) and THAT Oh No never again. That one made me feel like I had bugs crawling inside me and like my head was pop right off my head! Sooooo he decides to put me on.... SOMETHING ELSE!!!! REALLY? Am I a lab rat? UGH... Okay whatever, I'm desperate at this point. He says its like the one that worked but a little stronger. Did he NOT just hear that I have 3 kids to take care of and MUST function through the day! Here take 1 at night and a 1/2 during the day when you get overwhelmed. I'll see you back next month and I want to do some bloodwork. I wanted to scream YOU ARE MAKING ME OVERWHELMED!!!! I resisted and took my little slip and asked him what to do about the pain in jaw, neck, and head. Well you already said your taking Motrin and Alieve so continue that the only thing we ca do is treat the inflamation. UGH AGain. Its NOT really working! I hang my head in disapointment and walk out to the checkout lady, called my husband and gave him the entire spill and came home. After Dr. Google told me everything that was wrong with said medicne I called the on person I knew who would tell me the truth. . . My trusty Pharmasist assitant and friend! ... I feel alot better talking to her so now I'm off with script in hand to start yet another journey with prescription medicine.!!! I really dislike medicine and that I feel like I need to rely on them. I don't know what I'm going to do when I am old. :) Guess I better take care of myself now huh? ! ? Well finally after running around taking care of a few things, I was able to take some of the new medicine. THe first hour I didn't think it worked then I started realizing that those "liitle" things the kids where doing "should" nbe driving me crazy. Hmmmm..... Welllll.... Okay..... Then I started to feel Happy. HAPPY! Actually started playing with the kids and cleaned up a bit and felt an almost "giddy" feeling. It's 9:00 and I finaly evicted them out of my bed because the tickle monsters were starting to hurt me! I am actually feeling sleepy. Not tired but sleepy. I haven't felt sleepy in weeks. I am going to go ahead and take the full one tonight to see how it works since the 1/2 didn't cause any ill effects. Looking foward to more days like today!

Good Days and not so good days!

Now that I have welcomed you into my acceptance, I need to fully accept it myself.My doctor's apt is tomorrow morning and I am nervous as heck so I will write and maybe will figure out how to tell him how I am feeling. I woke up yesterday after 2 days in bed( not sleeping, I never sleep anymore), later than I'd like to have but again I was up until 2am. I was always told if you couldn't sleep then God wanted to tell you something or you needed to tell Him something.Well let me tell you, I'm just about done talking and I'm not hearing anything except the sound of my breath. I HAD to get up and go get the "babies" so I dressed and headed out the door. Out of coffee NO and in my laziness I hadn't made any tea. It was a morning where water wasn't cutting so I stopped at the store and grabbed a Dew, still in a slumber, when I had the strongest urge for some chips. The saltest chips I could find. I have always craved chips when I get this way. Its the weirdest thing but it happens. I searched and finally decided on some store brand sour cream and onion with chedder. I'd usually opt for Muncho's but knew I needed something less crunchy, something that could dissolve instead of being chewed. I took some Motrin and ate my chips as I drove to Momma's with the local country station blaring. I couldn't really tell you what songs played or by whom since I don't normally listen to secular music. I do remember Lady Antelbellem's song I need you now because I thought now many times do they play this song a day. This one I knew because it must come on atleat every hour or maybe its just everytime I am in listening distnace. 15 minutes later, I am at Momma's and I down my Dew,stuff a mouthful chips in my mouth, and put on my happy face before I walk in to greet my babies. Peyton ran to me meet me while ELi and Brooke hid under the tent to protest that they were not going home! This is a game they play everytime I go to pick them up. On days like this I would normally feel that they just don't love me and might be better off staying but I've finally learned that its just one more way that they show how much they love thier Nanny and PawPaw. I chase them around and tickle until they guilt me into staying for supper. While we were there we played outside on the swing, came in and played in the tent, watched some NickJr, and then went to see their favorite aunt next door. I made some Koolaid and loaded the dishwasher and fixed some treet( Meals are so different there than at home). After playing outside they were all hot so I fixed them each a drink. About 45 minutes later Peytin has a huge uncontrollabe meltdown and I really didn;t want to deal with it but we made it through and then I stop and think.... Organge koolaid. How do you get orange? Red and yellow UGH, how stupid can you be is what I am thinkingto myself, so I take Peytins Koolaid away and make some lemonaid. If you follow on Fb you know that we are keeping Peyton away from Red Dye. Now I'm beat and Peyton is asleep so I send the oldest over and read while Peyton naps. Peyton wakes up and we head over.She asked if we wanted to go berry picking. No part of me wanting to be out in the Forida heat at 4:00 to pick blueberries but I knew the kids would enjoy it and they LOVE blueberries so we head off after it takes 30 minutes to find and on shoes. After all that Peyton still ended up in just socks. They enjoyed riding down the country road without their carseats! That was a big treat since I am a carseat Natzi most of the time. We walking and picked for about 20 minutes before my oldest, Brooke, was done. She informed us she was hot and sweating and going back to the truck. We made her stay about 10 minutes longer and finished up. We poured our berried each into one bucket to see that together the 5 of us picked almost 1 ice cream bucket full. Back to Aunts to wash our bounty and put them away. I left that to my Sister in law while I went to Momma's t help out with supper. My favorite hamburgers. Nothing gets better than feeling the squishy gooey hamburger meat into the round disk that will soon be douvered inside buns. Can you hear the sarcism, I hope so. Anyway, its done and its back to rounding up the kids for supper. Suprisinly not that bad this time. I only had one protest and that was Brooke wanting to eat Speghetti with her Aunt instead of hamburgers with us. That make so much sense since she hates hamburger meat. She opted for tomotoe, fries, and a peice of lettuce. It woud not suprise me one bit when she decides she wants to become a vegitarian. I used to make her eat meat but I've learned many other ways to get her to eat protien. She does love hotdogs and bolonga and chicken nuggets. I think only because its so far from what it really is and I haven't bothered to tell them. Anyway we eat and finally load up to come home. Each of them telling their stories and singing their own songs eventually ends up in a fight when Eli sings and Peyton can't hear herself. I love my kids but they fight over the silliest things. Home! Bedtime! Fight! GARBAGE!!!!( dead dog walking again) 45 minutes of unloading and making beds, calming down, and tucking in and all is quite. This and that are out in 30 more minutes and the other an hour later. Now its time for Mommy to relax and spend time with Daddy right? WRONG! Once the comotion settles my jaw is unbearable and nothing is touching the pain. Tylonal, Motrin, Nyquil. Still awake until 1am and tossing and turning until the kids come in at 8:00 ready to start their day. Today! Dishes piled up, and a list of things that need to be done! Motrin downed with no relief, breakfast done, and it's already time for lunch!

Avoiding the white coats.

This is how I feel so often, like anyday someone in a white coat will show up at my door and take me away. Life is stressful, we all know that. What some don't realize is just how stressful it can be for some. A struggle I have battled as long as I could remember. A child that always cared way to much what people thought about me to a preteen with serious stomach problems caused by stress. "Nervous Stomach" that is what the doctor called it when I missed a week of school in the fith grade and was physically sick because I cheated on a test and didn't want to be caught. Then came middle school and I "survived" by being activly invisible. What does that mean exactly well basically I did everything there was to do without drawing any attention to myself. I tried cheerleading, band, chorus, eventually moved to highschool and found Drama and Color Gaurd. My same little group of friends, same teachers, same good grades, same invisible me. What noone knew was that being smart didn't come easily for me. I never slept and I spent all my alone time in my room doing homework. I'd actually lock myself into my room before a test until I knew that I knew that I knew, I'd not only pass but get a B or above. A C wa not acceptable in my eyes. When it got to be to much I'd bite the upper part of my thumb stopping just before it would bleed. I managed to date, have a social life, graduate with honours, and continue to college. I held down two jobs in college with a full time course load. Planned a wedding and finished with my AA degree and AAS degree. Noone knew that in between classes I would be in the bathroom or in my car with my heart pounding so hard I was struggling to breath. A handful of people have seen the severity of my "episodes". I'm pretty sure, it scared the hell out of them. How would you feel if you were to witness the "Got it togther gal" in a bathroom crying because it feels like the only way you can breath at all. Shaking to the point you can no longer stand. Crying more and pyhically not being able to stop. Breathing only in between tears and sobs, if even then. I eventually learned to hold a glass of water. Somehow the action of focusing on holding the glass of water and the cool water on my lips helped. The first time I experienced this was before I left high school and was told I had an "allergic reaction to a cough syrup". Hmmm.. Okay? It continued without the cough sryup. Afterwards, I could pick myself up to continue through the day and then would be so wiped out that I would sleep for days if I could. It wasn't always an option so I forced through in a happy zombie like state, never knowing if anyone noticed it or not. My friends know when I disapear to just give me time. It got really bad after I lost Kaylee. I kept moving on though. I was at my neices 5 birthday party the day after my surgery.You can read Hearts Changed Lives rearranged for that experience and the depression I suffured through then.... I think I am getting better then life slaps me on the back and puts me on the floor. Now its the small things that I bottle up and take it out on my mouth. My gums like hamburger and my teeth grinded down to the point of chipped and barely there. I eventually explode. Not by yelling or throwing things like when I was a child, but by crying, shaking, chest pounding, and feeling like I am not worthy or anything including life itself. I start getting headaches daily that turn to migraines and then my TMJ flairs up to the point I can barely talk or eat and I am in pain constantly, eating Motrin and Tylonal.I've taken all the meds then I think I'm okay and God's got this and life gets in the way and I don't take the time to go to the doctor to get meds, I blame something else, not having the money or being able to get a sitter. Life right! I am slowing learning that as a parent the BEST thing we can do is take care of ourselves. I do not want my children to remember me this way. Staying up until 3 and 4 am and staying in bed until 10am only getting up to turn on TV and get juice and cereal for everyone. My 6 year old has even started taking on that responsibilty coming in to wake me and tell me that she got the "babies" something for breakfast. How sweet and sad is that? I finally get up but I am not there. I try to be happy, but deep down I know that know. I can see it through their eyes that they want to make Mommy happy! Their smiles, their songs, their hugs I know they love me and for the most part only see the happy me. I've gotten really good at "hiding" my feelinsg but it has really put a hurting on me, my life and the life of our family. That is not faiar to anyone. SO I called, while in a "controlable" attack and had someone come get the kids, and made the doctors apt. I stand today and realize that I will NO LONGER let this control me. If it takes meds again I will go that route again. You name it I've taken it. Some good some made me feel even crazier than I already feel. I've done the "talking to people" now I am going to try writing and sharing. I feel my best when I am writing. i don't care that I am not good at it or that I have huge run on setentces, followed by sentenses that start and end with prepisitions and that my spelling or atrosious. None of that matters right now. What matters is that I am dealing and for others to know that you are not alone and I pleed with you if you are going through PLEASE do something about it! Also never assume that you know what is going on in someones life. That smile, that hello, or that wave could change their entire day. Don't simply walk through life and ignore everyone around you. Life is to short and to meaningful!

Change of Heart

Yes,I know I haven't written in a while. I have succomed to living life and being content... We shoud never be completly content. We should always have an expectation fo more...Tonight I come to you because my heart is heavy in a way I have never experienced before. Tonight I come to you as the Mom of Bleu and Cocoa... Bleu is our American Bulldog.Cocoa is our full blooded mutt. To undestand where I am coming from you have to understand a little bit about me. You see, up until about a year ago I would openly admit "I don't like dogs. I don't do dogs. They chew up everything. They poop inside. The bark all the time. They jump on you and they don't listen. Why would anyone want this in their home." Yes I know how bad that sounds. I don't really know when I became that way. I had dogs growing up, I even watched one give birth. Our dogs were always outside and protected us from snakes. We played fetch but we never got "close" to them, well I didn't anyway. I grew up and still had a distain for dogs. I once remeber getting bit by a chihuahua, maybe thats why I always felt that way. It's not that I didn't like pets. I loved fish and frogs and lizards. There was just something about dogs. I met my husband, Tommy, in 2000 and the main person in his life was his American Bulldog, Jake. Yes I said person. Jake was not a dog, he was a four legged human. He ate at the table with Tommy, he ate what he ate. He loved brocoli and brussel sprouts. When we met there was no doubt that he loved Jake more than me. That slowly began to change and let me tell you Jake did not like it one bit! We would sit on the couch and Jake would weasle his way in between us. I don't know how many times I went to kiss Tommy and got a cold wet dog nose. He slowly began to grow on me but was stolen shortly after we bonded. We found the person that stole him and he admitted to selling him as a fighting dog. However, no dog no case. That is what the police told us. We have spent the past 10 years trying to help people understand that not all bulldogs are for fighting. In fact, bulldogs are loving, caring protective animals. Through the years we have had many dogs come and go and I never really let myself get attached. We got married and now have kids and our kids love animals just as much as their Daddy does. Where did that leave me? I blamed every dog we had for this and that and that and this and I just did not understand my families love for dogs.I finally broke down and did the only thing I knew to do. I prayed for God to change ME. I realized that the dogs didn't listen to me because I didn't respect them. I didn't give them half a chance.I slowly started seeing a change in Cocoa's attitude. He was listening to me. He crept his way into the bed at night. He sat ontop of my feet while at the computer desk. He came when I called. He started listening so well that Tommy often had to have me to call Cocoa inside. I couldn't belive it, was this realy happening? Was *I* falling for dog? Cocoa is now almost 2 years old and is one of my best friends. Tommy desperatly wanted another full bread American Bulldog and I knew we were not in the position to get one. They are quite expensive to someone looking for a pet. I made a "deal" with Tommy and told him okay if you can find one under x amount of money then we can get it... Now keep in mind, this x amount was so far from reality that I NEVER imagined it could happen! It gave Tommy hope though and I needed him off my back! He searched online everywhere and found breeder after breeder all telling him the same thing, giving him the same numbers. He was very open about what we could afford but never gave up. One day we recieved a call from a breeder who knew we didn't have the money and he had people willing to pay full price for this last little dog he had but he did not get a good feeling from the applicants. We spent weeks on the phone with this guy. He agreed to our x number and a week later we met Bleu. We named him Bleu because he was born was with one Bleu eye. The kids fell inlove as we knew that they would. Tommy of course was smitten and I was in complete aww... This was the moment that God really started changing me. I saw Bleu and it was like I was looking at my future, almost like looking at your newborn baby. We took him to PetSmart and let him pick out his own toy then we went to McDonalds and got him a peice of sausage. We took him to the park and then to a birthday Party. Busy Day for a new member of the famiy but he loved it. He only had one accident all day and was a joy. We saw him interact with many kids that day and the smile on the kids faces was pure joy. He curled himself in our bed that first night and Cocoa never once seemed threatened, never offered to snap, in fact Bleu was like his new baby. He "told" Bleu when to go out and when to come in and the only thing they ever had tiffs over was the food bowl. Who knew an 8 week old baby could eat more than a year and half old dog! The last 6 months has had its ups and downs and we have lost many shoes,and kids toys. So many cars has los their wheels and Barbies have lost their limbs.Many nights have been spent with him curled up in our bed. Frankly I am still not sure how 2 adults 2 dogs and atleast 1 child can fit into a bed. Many times all 7 of us are piled in bed! I never have to worry about if someone is in the yard because Bleu and Cocoa will let me know. This all changed 4 days ago when a neighbour knocked on my door to tell me that Bleu had been hit by car. My heart sank as I woke Tommy up and he immediatly went into respond mode. Tommy swooped him up as we crazily tried to find a vet that would see him. Finally almost 2 hours after the accident he found Freeport Vet Clinic who agreed to see him with no upfront cost. The sedated him on pain meds and we waited over the weekend to recieve the news that he needs hus hip reconstruted. We are now trying to come up with 500.00 to get this going.God placed us in contact with They're so fluffy who created a website through ChipIn and are helping us spread the word. I then created a facebook event and we have had people donate raffles. ANYONE who enters will be automatically enrolled in the raffles. I am not one to beg or ask for help but I can not imagine having to tell the kids that Bleu can't come home because we don't have the money to pay for the care he needs. I can't and won't imagine my life without Bleu in it! Blue has showed me that God created ALL creatures and that we are love one another and this includes our furry friends. Thank you for reading our story and most of all for letting me get all my emotions out right now! Now you may being saying this is not God it's a series of coincidences... Did I mention the breeder we got Bleu from was a pastor? If this story has touched you at all please donate to Bleu's care. EVERYTHING will go directly to Freeport Pet Clinic. No amount is to small... Thank you. God Bless

A true friend doesn't care how clean the house is or what your past was like.They will not judge you when you make a mistake. A true friend will listen and wipe your tears. I true friend will be there when noone else is. A true friend knows you inside and out and still loves you. That true friend calls just to say Hey, What's up and nothing else. A true friend makes you see the truth in all those so called friends. You knows those friends that you've had all your life, but now you never hear from. Those that get mad because something happened and never asked to hear the truth. A true friend knows to call when you've excluded yourself from the world around you and knows when to just let you be you. A true friend feels like you've known each other forever even though it's only been a few years. . . . . To all my true friends out there who love me crazies and all.

A FRESH start

Many of you know that over the past few weeks we have been trying to make small suttle changes to what goes into our body. The things that we eat affect the way we live, the way we feel and act.I've set out to break the rules in a way and to learn the truth about the food that goes into my body and my families body. First off, "Fast" food doesn't make you fast, in fact it's quite the opposite it makes us sluggish and slow. "Diet" does not mean healthy and healthy does not mean bland!

Many of my adventures have turned out to be Epic Fails--- take the pinapple herb chicken--- My husband was NOT a fan. His take, Pinapple should only be eaten as a fruit snack or mixed with Malibu.

The kids ate all the yummy topping off of the whole wheat pizza so the next time we did half wheat half white to add that much needed crunch.

I don't know what I did to the stuffed peppers but the pepper itself was not ediable but the filling was yummy so now a complate fail.

It's been a learning adventure and a welcomed change. We've been able to learn alot about each other, spend time with each other, and have noticed a change in the overall feeling of ourselves( atleat myself). I started a photo diary and thought I'd share a few of our top picks.

What kid doens't like Fruit Roll Ups? Strawberry Banana Apple

These Flax seed apple carrot muffins were amazing and the kids ate on them for days!

The kids enjoyed the gronala bars even though they fell part. The parts were great on yogurt though.

My favorites though where the meat and veggie meals!

Before I always made stir fry with pre packaged stir fry mixes wheather it be frozen or canned. Now I take whatever veggies I have on hand and it's been wonderful

I also bought some Green giant seasoned pks just to have on those crazy nights. I know not the best but in a pinch I figured it was better than the normal mashed potatoes, canned green beans, or french frys. This was Garlic herb peppered chicken and a Simply Steam Green Giant pk.

My greatest sucess though was the Veggie Sketti! You see my son( who is 4) is a vegetable protestor and has been since he was a baby. If you ever needed to get a bath just try to feed him any kind of veggie other than green beans and mashed pototoes! Now my oldest daughter( who is 5) refuses to eat any meat aside from chicken and sometimes pork and deer. Hamburger meat is the one thing she simply will not eat. She will pick the peices out of chilli and eat the beans. I decided to get sneaky, while they were playing I grabbed my handy dandy smoothie maker and blended some various squashes, onions, bell peppers and tomotoes and cooked ground hamburger meat to make a sauce then I took the meatball and added a pkg of Lipton dry vegtable soup mix and served it over angel hair pasta( I haven't gotten them to like the whole wheat yet so we'll stick with the occasional regular pasta dish. Tada!!!!

And just for fun I thought I'd try my hand at dried herbs so I started with some parsly.

Now remember I did not say this was about loosing weight but about making suttle changes. If weight loss occurs then YAY, for me. Now I look at what I buy and think twice about many premade items. We have a long way to go but I hope you enjoy a small take on our experience!

Living Simple- Sanity

I can't count the times I'm asked, "how do you do it?" or had the comment made, "I don't see how you do it. "
Sometimes this relates to feeding and diapering three kids under 4, sometimes its surely relating to keepig my sanity. My answer is simple. We just do it! What else can you do? Just that. Do it! This week I was called "creative" and I guess that is the best way to describe how to "do it". I'm going to share a few of those simple ways that have helped so much in the past almost 5 years. In no way is this to boast it is intended to help because I promise you, I would have loved to have not had to learn some of these lessons and ideas the hard way.
The first lesson to Sanity! This lesson was given to me by a dear friend, my brother.
The advice was given - Pick your battles...I never forgot this and at the time it was given I had no children but This has rung true on so many levels in my life especially motherhood.
Is the world going to end because a 2 year old won't get in the bath or eat his/her veggies. The answer surely not. I am not saying rules and boundries out the window but lets think about this for a moment. The day has gone for the most part beautifully with no major meltdowns. The day has been fun, eventful, and now it's time for that nighttime routine... Supper, bath, bed... The battle starts at supper when the child simply will not each those green things that you call food on her, but he happily ate all the chicken and nooodles, but those green things FORGET IT! He'd rather die than have them anywhere near his mouth. Well if your doing your job as mother then certaintly this isn't the first time he has had veggies, and probably not the first time he has had them today even. You fight and insist on eating at least ONE bite of those veggies, now the child is screaming, maybe even on the floor, supper has been ruined - time for bath. That child is still mad over the veggies do you think there is ANY chance she is getting in the bath now. Nope-not in this house anyway. Oh, but wait, there's noodles in his hair. Bath is a must. More fighting. GET REAL- It's a noodle. Get a wet rag and wipe it out!.. UGH--JUST GO TO BED!!!! Now what could have avoided this? Yep, He ate EVERYTHING on his plate, she's no longer hungry. Does he get dessert? Why No he didn't eat his veggies but certaintly that ONE bite is not always worth that fighting. . . If this is an ever so often accurance, my advice. Pick your battles. Now if this happens everynight then there might be a night when ONLY veggies is served or veggies is mixed in with everything else but that is a blog all on it's on. What I am trying to say is being a parent is so many more things than a dictatorship and children have opions, self respect, and values and as moms our job is to embrace them so they will become self reliant respectful adults.

Sanity lesson two- Have fun!
How long will kids be kids? Well that is debatable because it depends on the child-or adult even. You want a happy stress free home? Then take the time to have fun with the kids. Forget the dishes and the laundry, forget facebook(Yes I am talking to myself here Ha Ha) and sit down in the floor with your kids and have fun. Pitch a tent in the bedroom, read a story, and just listen to your kids. Sit at the table and draw your family like you did when you were 6. Grab a bag of popcorn and plop on the couch with the kids and a movie. Don't be afraid to think outside of the box and don't mind getting dirty.Laugh and be silly. Who's watching? THEY ARE!!!! Which brings me to lesson three

Sanity lesson Three- DO Do DO!!! Do as you say, Do as you would want them to do. Let them see you doing. You want them to use a quite voice? Talk to them softly and turn down the TV... You want them to clean up their room? Let them see you cleaning your room. Let them see you enjoying your clean room. This one I am just now learning! You want them to read? Read to them and let them see you reading. A book, a magazine, The Bible. Anything just so long as they can see you do doing it.

Sanity lesson Four - BREATH!!!! This one may seem the simplest of all, but how many times a day as moms do we find ourselves clinching or teeth, yelling, at the kids to do something, or doing so many things that we can't see straight, can't breath. Take a minute when ever you can to just take a deap breath. While your cooking. Breath in 1.2.3. breath out 1.2.3. You will feel instantly better and it's good for you.

Sanity lesson 5 - This one is new for me too. Find your "thing". Something small that you can spend 20 minutes a day doing for just yourself. Something that makes you remember who you are. Sewing, music, watching a movie, cooking, baking, anything that you like to do that you are not 100% doing for the kids. Can it be something that the kids will enjoy or the end product will be for the kids. Yes if your thing is sewing then of course you will sew your kids something. It's the act of doing that relaxes you and reminds you of yourself. As a former boss used to say, "Process not Product". We learn by doing, we relax by doing(or not doing). Bake your kids a cake. It will make you all happy.Happiness is the true keep to having Sanity in the home!
These are just a few of the things I've learned. I hope that if you find just one that you are not doing you will try it. Stay tuned for my Living Simple-In a pinch!

The beauty after the storm

You know, living in Florida I've seen my fair share of storms from Hurricanes to random thunderstorms. The first thing people look for is the destruction. Trees and limbs down, bridges out, water everywhere in many places and it makes me wonder if anyone is like me. You know the first thing I notice, the sky. The sky is always so blue and pleasant the day after a storm. I look up and I am reminded that God is there, where he always is looking after us in all his beauty. Our lives are just that too. We go through storms everyday some last longer and feel like hurricanes as we watch the Gulf for the tropical warnings rolling in and get hit with storm after storm until the big Hurricane hits. Some are just an overnight downpour but once we surrender all and let God be in control we have this overwelming peace about us. He was ALWAYS there and ALWAYS will be. That peace is the same peace that I feel when I look up at the sky after a storm. That peace to know that God is 100% in control of my life. Nothing is greater than that peace and if it takes a few storms then so be it, but how wonderful will it be when I get to a place in my relationship with God to keep that peace THROUGH the storm. . . . Afterall that is what God wants. He wants us to trust him before, during, and after the storm.